I awoke this morning a little more sluggishly than normal for me. I'm usually the kind of person who hops out of bed and gets right into the day. I like a cup of coffee and maybe something to snack on right away. If I had newspaper delivery, I would read a paper in the morning. Often, I find myself online.
This morning the alarm went off at 6am. It actually woke me up. That almost never happens. I'm usually in bed waiting for it or down the hall reading and waiting for it. I hit snooze...three times. Then I struggled to get up and feed the cats. They were looking hungrily at my toes. It seemed wise to get up and offer them an alternative. But once the cats were fed I went straight back to bed. No coffee. No reading. Just bed. Trish and I stopped at a local 'Bucks for caffeine on the way to the train station.
I'm at the office now. I've done some work and I'll leave for a breakfast "meeting" shortly. I'm not sure if I can call it that since we have so much fun. But there it is.
Easter has exhausted me. And there is much more going on than Holy Week. Much more. Palm/Passion Sunday has extra significance to me now as well because of John's passing that morning. And now I find myself asking a question. How many of us come to Christ as people in mourning? I imagine it's more than I realize. Seldom do people seek out a spiritual center when their life seems complete.
This is the message of Palm Sunday. "Hosanna! Our life is now complete because the Savior is here to rescue us."
"Not so." says Jesus. "I cannot rescue you, but perhaps we can all be saved."
Yeah. Palm Sunday gets to that place somehow. "Hosanna" quickly becomes "Crucify!"
This is the thing that I am wrestling with again. A while back, Megan has asked me to post my definition of salvation. And I keep thinking I have one. Then something comes up, something that asks me to shift the definition of salvation just a little. Salvation is an unspecific virtue and occurrence. It's not a formula. It's a relationship. And thus it is fluid...slippery and often elusive. And it is often confused with rescuing...and some kind of euphoria.
Jean Vanier wrote:
Too many people come into community to find something, to belong to a dynamic group, to find a life which approaches the ideal. If we come into community without knowing that the reason we come is to discover the mystery of forgiveness, we will soon be disappointed.
I need to get going to my meeting. My thoughts are more scattered and incomplete than usual today. So, bear with me in this post.
God created us to give and receive love. That love is often communicated in acts of forgiveness. When we receive forgiveness we receive love. When we actively forgive, we actively love. And this kind of love is sometimes impossible without the intervention of God's own grace.
*sigh*
Yeah. That's what I am chewing on this morning. Time for toast.
